Maid Of Honour speeches.. some good funny advice for the newlyweds!?

I'm giving a speech at my sisters wedding and I wanted to give them some good NICE but funny advice for being married... since I';m not married I need help... any ideas?Maid Of Honour speeches.. some good funny advice for the newlyweds!?
I wouldn't be doing stand-up. Can't you just do a nice speech? Say how happy you are etc. Be very careful with the ';advice';, especially because you don't have any experience.Maid Of Honour speeches.. some good funny advice for the newlyweds!?
advice to the groom:





repeat this phrase often....yes dear, of course you're right





advice to the bride...you might as well learn the rules for golf,texas holdem and football
You can always say, 'May all your troubles be little ones'.
May you never forget


what is worth remembering


or remember


what is best forgotten.
Be careful with the overused marriage jokes. Rather, focus on your relationship with the bride and what makes your relationship with her special. Avoid inside jokes and ones that try to make yourself look like a comic, but make sure the focus remains on the people getting married. It's fun to embarrass them :)
My maid of honor was my best friend who I knew for 26 years before that day. She said ';---if you hurt her, I'll kill you.';
';I put up with your crap and you put up with my crap.';


';That's marriage?!';


';This is what I'm thinkin'...';