I am 45, married and mom of 4. I think that you both need to trust each other, and try to be considerate of each other's needs.
I also think you need to retain your sense of humor. Sometime life can throw you a few curve balls and if you lack a sense of humor, it can kill your marriage. Enjoy.Advice for newlyweds?
Thanks for choosing my answer as the best!
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Hi, welcome to marriage. I've been married for 26 years, so I do have a bit of experience. The most important things I can tell you are, don't go to bed angry. Work it out, nothing is worse than waking up mad. Always side with your spouse. Even if they are wrong, you can discuss it later. Last and most importantly, never let your spouse forget you love and cherish them. Send flowers for no reason. Leave notes around the house. You get the idea. Good Luck and I hope you are as fortunate as I have been.
TALK EVERYTHING OUT
1. don't allow your heart to be troubled (seeing is believing)
2. keep your business strickly between the 2 of you (everybody
doesn't need to know)
3. compromise is a two way street (marriage requires some
degree of sacrifice)
4. where one is weak the other must be strong (never give up on
each other)
5. don't expect him to read your mind, say what it is that has you upset.
6. honor, trust and obey oh and have plenty of patience
Married 7yrs together 15yrs
dont talk about divorce.ever!
Well, for starters, give lots of hugs and listen to each other intently. Have lots and lots of great sex and become each other's sex slave. Lust after each other. Slow dance naked together in the moonlight. Let you find safety and shelter from the storms of life in the harbor of each others arms. Also, tend to each other at the end of the day. Respect each others space. Try not to get in a rut with the business aspects of being married. To guys, I say do not lose you identty as a man just because you became a husband and to women I say do not lose your identify as a woman just because you became a wife. Do not just love each other--be in love with each other. Do special things for no special reason and make each day a celeration of your ongoing love affair.
Marriage, as an insitution is a great idea. It is a disaster if you choose the wrong person. I'll say no more about that.
Don't ever shut each other out or say ';Fine.'; Do tell each other often how mcuh you are in love with the other person. You are each others very best friend. Believe it or not, you are not resposnible for your husband's happiness nor is he responsible for yours. How can that be? Consider the burden that places on each other. Champion each others accomplishments no matter how small or large.
Well that's a start. May your marriage be blessed with only good things. Congatulations and best wishes for a long life together.
Talk, talk, talk. I was married for only 11 months when my marriage ended and it was incredibly painful and it could have been prevented. We had some issues and instead of working them out (talking about them a nd coming to a compromise) we ignored them and it snowballed. By the time we tried to work on things it was just too much and we gave up. Don't make my mistake.
God created you and God also designed the institute of marriage. The sooner you understand the principles behind marriage and the way in which God desires for two married people to exist, the better off you will be.
Always remember to do all of the things that you use to do.
What got him is what will keep him
The family that plays together,,stays together. ;O)
congratulation!!! don't talk about work when you guys are @ home. only if there's funny stories to tell. time together are special, find things to do together whether it's hobbies, activities, or things around the house. remember, he's your best friend. the little time you have together, just make it fun for both of you. the key ingredients are trust, fun, and happiness. make it so that both of you guys enjoy to be together.
When you can't talk things out between the two of you, set someone as a designated arbitrator. Make it someone you can both trust. Most of the time, when you have what you say repeated back to you, you realize just how crazy you sound. Example: a guy I know was telling me once how he wasn't allowed to go see movies with a certain pretty movie actress in them, because he had mentioned that he thought she was pretty, so instead they were going to go see the new Brad Pitt movie so his wife could swoon over him. When I said, ';Wait, so it's okay for her to swoon over a movie star, but not you?'; he suddenly was able to put into words what he had always thought was unfair but couldn't explain how. His wife and he figured out what was okay and what wasn't on much more fair terms after that. But you'll be amazed how many times you fall into traps like that without even realizing it, on both sides. You'll say something that sounds totally alright when you're saying it, and it will upset him, but he won't be able to express how because he's in the heat of the moment. But someone on the outside will go, ';Wait wait wait... did you really mean...'; and you'll go, ';Oh my gosh... was I really being that selfish?'; or, ';Wow, I didn't realize he was being so unreasonable.';
We've been happily married for over 36 years. The pastor that counciled us said that if we could avoid arguing about money issues, we'd be waaaaay ahead of many couples. He was right.
We've seen the marriages and relationships of many friends fall apart, and by contrast to OUR relationship, I can tell you some of the main reasons.
Ideally, a couple should have a good amount of ';shared interests.'; Why do you want to spend your life with this other person? How compatible are they with you? When you start to have too many separate interests and friends, that's one danger signal.
Many couples - young and otherwise - don't have enough tolerance for one another's shortcomings or enough forgiveness when things go wrong. Too many couples are just too darn selfish. There's too much ';me-me-me.'; It should be about ';us.';
Just ';spending time'; together is important; you actually have to be ';doing'; anything. There is no such thing as ';quality time.'; You may THINK there is, but no. When it comes to ';time'; in a relationship, it's more a matter of quantity over quality. Well, we all like to have fun when we're together, of course, but you really cannot ';make up'; for lost time. You can try, you can do ';damage control,'; but you marry someone because you just want to ';be'; with them for the rest of your life.
People also need a certain amount of ';alone time,'; too, and how they USE that time is strictly up to them. They may choose to share it with you or not. Of course, I'm not talking about going out all the time bar hopping and then saying,';none of your business where I was.'; I'm just saying everyone needs a little space to do whatever it is they need to do. Alone.
And even if you happen to have great paying jobs with more ';expendable income'; than you know what to do with, learn to enjoy and appreciate the ';little things'; in life. Money isn't everything.
Remember to still be a couple, everyone seems to forget about doing things together after marriage because everyone paints a picture of just bills, bills, stress, and bills. Remember to still spend as much time together as you can and go out and ';date'; keep a healthy sex life by trying to surprise your husband, but don't scare him (lol). Also as a new wife there will probably arise the situation with the inlaws, and even your family, remember to set boundaries, don't leak out too much information about your relationship out to anyone too closely related to you or him, and always support, trust and love your husband, but keep yourself happy too, it's going to be tough, but by building a good unified team is a great start, that way there are no problems to tear you both apart, good luck and congratulations :)
Congratulations. I would say be honest and open about your feelings. Don't hide anything.
I've been married for twelve years. I think the best advice I can give you is never go to bed mad. Life is too short. Talk it out and let it be. Don't hold a grudge. Lastly, pray and worship together. Congrats!! Be Blessed!
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